Savta. Bubbie. Grandma. Abuela. Oma, Babcia….
May all of our and your children and grandchildren bring you much joy! May they all be strong, healthy and happy!
Grandmothers the world over bring energy, nurturing and sweetness to every environment they are in. My grandmother, may she rest in peace loved to make noodles from scratch (flour, eggs and water, and I can still taste how delicious they were) and she used to make dresses for me totally by hand because she didn’t own a sewing machine. She was an important presence in my life.
As a doula, I am finding that many of my clients are inviting Grandma, Abuela, or Babushka into the hospital room or labor and delivery suite when they birth. On one hand, no one loves her daughter as much as Mom does, and her love permeates the room and creates a nurturing environment that is truly unequaled. On the other hand, Grandma and Mom may be telling themselves different stories about the upcoming birth and have different expectations. What if Mom is planning a natural birth and Grandma is afraid of her daughter being in pain? What if Mom had all of her babies without pharmacological pain relief, but her daughter is looking forward to getting an epidural?
When I know that Grandma will be joining my client for her birth, I invite her to come and join us for prenatal meetings so that Grandma’s concerns, expectations and worries can be addressed before her grandchild’s Birth Day. There are so many fun activities that we can do together to turn those present at the birth into a team that works together to support New Mom and Dad as they bring the next generation into the world.
What about Oma (and perhaps Grandpa, Opa or Zaidie too!) coming to stay with the new family when they come home from the hospital for a few weeks? How can grandmothers be helpful and supportive when their daughters and daughters in law give birth to their grandchildren? Let’s not forget that Grandma raised Mom (or Dad) and may have many notions as to how to raise children. There is also the history of Grandma interacting with Mom from the time that Mom was a newborn baby. They may need some patience and understanding and perhaps welcome some support because navigating these unfamiliar waters can sometimes take some interesting and unexpected twists and turns …
Grandparents are going through their own life changing, life cycle transition as they assume their new roles when their children become parents. They all want to start off on the right foot. On one hand, they are excited to welcome their new family member, they love their children and grandchildren, and on the other hand, they worry about their children and grandchildren no matter what their age. As grandparents, we want to be there for their children and grandchildren in any way that we can. Some parents may welcome evidence based information about childbirth and child rearing, and others may want to do their own research . Ultimately, all parents want to follow their own hearts and make the decisions that resonate with them.
f you are interested in joining a Grandmas Zoom support/discussion group on these topics and others, please PM or call me at 773-965-5221 or email me at Bernicerivkin@gmail.com.